This isn’t about the sun.

I make mistakes. I make bad judgements. I constantly think everyone is honest and a good person. And look where this got me, no where. I end up at the same place every single time, with every single boyfriend. Sad and hurt. I guess I do this to myself. I put myself in situation where I know bad stuff could possibly happen and well, it usually does. I trust myself enough to know I wont ever do anything or hurt someone I really care about. But I guess trusting myself isn’t enough and it wont ever be— nothing works if the other person doesn’t trust you. This is horrible. I know you’re reading this and don’t care. I’m sorry, this is the hardest relationship I’ve ever been in. Ever. Not because of us not loving enough or caring to much but this is so hard. I’m sorry for what happened, I can’t control other people at all. You should be glad I told you what happened and that I didn’t act on anything and I was honest with you. I guess it’s hard to see the truth or something, but I’ve never done anything for you not to believe me. Ever. And this shouldn’t break the itty-bitty amount of trust you had. At all. I did nothing wrong.

I’m sorry I have guy friends who do stupid things. I really am. I wish you understood though. I wish anyone understood.

soundinmylungs: